Where Did My Courage Go - Interview with Cesia Cordies
Questions by Loraine Garcia
Find the original post here.
L: Hiya Cesia! As usual, I resonated with a lot that you had to say in this blog post especially when you wrote, “It’s easy to discern between your logical mind and emotional, anxious mind, but choosing your logical mind every time—or even most of the time—is a challenge in and of itself.” I felt like when I was younger I definitely struggled with thinking rationally versus letting my emotions take over, but as I practiced it more and more it has become easier for me to choose my rational mind over my emotional one.
On to my first question!
How did you come up with the idea behind this blog post?
C: I didn’t have to brainstorm much for this blog post because the monthly theme of “Daring” is pretty relevant to what I’ve been trying to do this summer. As I noticed myself putting off some of my summer goals, and more importantly my big end-of-the-year goals, I started to question the pattern and why I can’t seem to make it stop. I really just put my thoughts down because I thought some of the realizations I’ve had in this journey could be useful to others who are also struggling to reach their goals due to fear.
L: You mentioned letting fear stop you from doing things. What kind of fears do you have?
C: I think my most restricting fear is the fear that I’m not adaptable or independent enough to navigate certain situations. I think I’ve reacted pretty well to sudden situations in the past but as the youngest child I was constantly overprotected and being warned of several dangers; being treated as if I’m incapable of handling things on my own has created this insecurity. To generalize, I think it’s a fear of my own anxiety and how it sometimes leads to a flight or freeze response rather than a fight response, which is more ideal for some situations.
L: Do you have a plan set to help you overcome these fears?
C: I do but it’s so difficult to follow sometimes! I think it’s because I like to be spontaneous but some of these goals are really big steps for me so while I commit to them quite easily, I end up backing out because the fear tends to win. I think I need to allow myself to “wing it” with my plans while making sure to start the baby steps the closer I get to the “scary” part of the plan.
L: You’ve mentioned that you’ve put off achieving your goals until you thought you were “old enough.” Do you mind sharing some of those goals with the LYF audience? Also, you mentioned solo traveling being one, so what are the top locations you want to visit?
C: Some goals I put off were road trips with friends, camping, picking up new activities such as surfing (I’d need to travel to a beach for this which is why I had to wait until I’m “old enough.)” My parents weren’t too fond of the idea of me getting into these activities growing up so I had to wait until I was old enough for them to trust me to go out and do them on my own, without their supervision. I got so used to never taking initiative on exploring my interests that it took a while to realize there’s not really anything stopping me now but myself.
All my life I’ve had at least my top three locations that I could immediately respond to that question with, but lately I haven’t had any specific places in mind. For many years my top locations were London and Paris because I was interested in their history, but I visited both cities during a Europe Trip I had in my senior year of high school. While I’d love to visit those cities again and experience them from a different perspective, they’re not of much interest to me right now. I definitely know I want to see more of Latin America and I’d love to visit some North African countries, specifically Morocco and Egypt. I don’t have any specific cities yet since I keep putting off my goal to solo travel since it’s a little scary.
L: I know you said you disliked baby steps, but would you ever try to do baby steps again? Have you found something else that works for you?
C: I always try baby steps but I get anxious regardless which is why I end up skipping a few steps and getting to the more intimidating parts of my plan, as if I’m just ripping off the band-aid. A lot of my goals involve me doing things alone since I prefer it that way, but I find that starting off strong but with a buddy is a good idea, that way the growing process isn’t as long but also not too intimidating because I won’t be alone. It’s just not very reliable since it’s difficult to work with different schedules as an adult.
L: And then, as always, what have you been up to? Where can our audience find you?
C: I’ve been trying to make some progress on my goal to study abroad before graduating, and of course on making progress in the goals I mentioned earlier. You can find me on instagram @cesirii