Before I Lose Me - Interview with Selina Wells

Questions by Hadiya Mehdi

Find the original post here.

H: To start, I just want to say that I really appreciate the topic of your blog post. I know that I, personally, struggle realizing when it is time to relax and refresh not only my mind, but my body as well. And I know that this is something many readers would relate to as well.

And on that note, what inspired you to write on this topic specifically?

S: Honestly, it was hard to wrap my head around what the theme Refresh meant for me, personally. Our colleague Heather wrote a beautiful post that was inspiring and a call for action within our country that really made me think to myself, “how can I help inspire too?” I don’t think I even hit close to the mark that Heather did, but maybe it will inspire me down the road. I can expand on the topic in future posts. I think I would have gone in a different direction if I didn’t have a relaxing weekend at the hot springs (Delight Hot Springs). How cleansing it felt was still fresh in my mind as I was writing my draft.

H: In your blog post, you said that, “getting away from the technological distractions made me realize how detrimental it actually is. How lonely it actually makes society.” Do you believe that social media encourages the act of refreshing oneself?

S: Maybe. I only say maybe because everyone is so different and unique with the way they handle social media. I know for many that it causes them to stay away from it entirely because of the toxicity it can invoke. On the other hand, it can remind others we do need to slow down and take care of ourselves in different ways. It's a double edged sword I would say.

H: Because the topic of the blog post is about refreshing your body and mind, can you talk a little bit more on the importance of refreshing yourself, specifically the effects it could have on someone’s mental health?

S: Sometimes, we get caught up on our day to day tasks and thinking. It can become too much at times and overwhelming. If we refresh ourselves it helps–at least at the time–the weight we bear to not become so crushing. We can think clearly and possibly tackle something that has been troubling us. When I refreshed myself, I was able to see things in a different light and my old way of thinking was challenged in a good way.

H: You mentioned that you could bear the weight of your stress, but only because you had to. What was the moment when you realized that you didn’t have to survive under the “crushing” weight?

S: I think after my son was born the idea of not having to just survive sprouted. I’ve dealt with depression for most of my life. It wasn’t until I was 22 that I decided talking to a therapist would be a good first step in my healing process. Then I explored my spirituality. At 26, I was hit with postpartum depression. All the tools I had at my leisure didn’t work anymore. I cried, begged, and prayed for my son only to be robbed by my own mind. I had to find a way to help myself in order to be the mom I knew my son deserved. How can I have a healthy mind, body, and spirit? It’s still a question I struggle with but I’m trying. I realized I didn’t want to just survive the crushing weight placed on me anymore. Only I had the power to save myself, and my son was all the reason I needed to keep going and be better.

H: Do you have an idea on where your next getaway will be?

S: I actually have a lot of traveling to do this summer. My family will be attending a wedding at the end of June. In July, my son’s second birthday is coming up so we planned a Disneyland trip. Well, we would all be going to California Adventure for his actual birthday, but I will be heading to Disneyland while I’m there. What’s more refreshing than being a big kid at Disneyland?

H: And last but not least, where can our audience find you?

S: As always, they can read my posts here at LYF or the newsletter where my short story series is featured. They can also find me on Instagram on my writers page @thatgirl_selinas.